Election officers are recc’ing venues or so we heard

The Temasek Review used to be insightful and even challenging. Now it’s just anti-establishment blabber feeding off the hype with comment boards full of anti-Current-Ruling-Party (I hesitate to use the word Baboons) people who have no sense of civility whatsoever.

I’m not a blind fan of our ruling party, nor am I a blind critic. I acknowledge the things they have done and are doing, I also take note of the past mistakes (which they stubbornly refuse to apologise for) and structural flaws of ministries. However, I do not accredit all problems in the country to the ruling party (as if the current Opposition can do better) nor do I throw cuss words at them and the leaders whenever I feel unbalanced about issues.

I am not impressed by the mindless mudslinging that TR is doing. Please restore civility and sensibility if you still want to call yourselves free media providing “independent, balanced and unbiased coverage on socio-political affairs in Singapore”.

And get a rein on those baboons people throwing cuss words and mindless rants around your comment boards.

 

我是逃兵吗？

波兰、玉树、冰岛、曼谷
这些地方的名字多美，偏偏就遭遇了那些事儿。
对于接连不断的天灾人祸，我们既帮不到忙，又无法冷眼旁观。

最近大家都在骂政府最新的母语政策
我居然懒得去看也懒得多加评论了
不是么？讲了多少年的课题，从我在学校里开始学华文的时候，就经常为着华文低落的问题发牢骚。
发了多少年的牢骚，最后我也心灰意冷了。
骂了多少年的教育部，最后才发现要改变的不只是教育部。

在FB上大喊一下：我就是不要进MOE当老师！
招来一些评语，无非就是鼓励我进去“力挽狂澜”或去“拯救海星”。

倒像我是逃兵了。

试问，
念中文系的人，是不是注定当华文老师？
当华文老师，是不是注定受母语政策的气？
像我这样靠理想生存的人，恐怕无法在这种机制里生存下去吧？
不尊重老师、不尊重母语、不尊重教育的不只是学生，家长和上头都是这样。
天，恐怕还没挨过bond的时期就已吐血身亡了吧？
实现理想的路还有很多，我且就绕过母语教育这一条路。

向图书馆这一条道路前进，
阅读或许是新的一条路，或许是我的苟且偷安。

 

二手烟

凌晨两点半，热醒，然后继续赶关怀研讨会讲义的翻译工作……
这几天localized burning，空气里一股焦味。
热就算了，还好像在吸烟室里一样 =_=;;

说到吸烟
我们家吃饭时讲到了各色烟客发表的伟论
某人问：“哦？你吸烟？”
烟客A:“你不抽烟就很富meh？”
烟客B：“没有抽烟的还不一样要死！”
烟客C:“抽烟是我的自由！”

我无语了
A：新加坡的烟税巨贵啊，随随便便一包打底十块钱。算一天一包好了，一个月就抽掉300大元。你舍得我还不舍得。我以前算过，20年可以抽掉一辆车。
B: 是是是，都要死，但我想在死前过比较有品质的生活，而不是得鼻咽癌、喉癌、皮肤病、免疫失调、指甲发黄口发臭……
C: 是是是，你的自由，不过你不要命我还要。别让我吸你的二手烟！调查显示二手烟的致病率不会低于吸烟者。为了你的家人朋友，这种自由可以省省吧。

 

HT outline

HT outline draft got the thumbs-up-go-ahead from Prof ) Yay! Things are always nice when Prof says it’s okay to go ahead~

I love my thesis topic – it’s so…relevant. For those who don’t already know, my topic is “A Comparative Study of Singaporean and Taiwanese Minnan Chinese Identities”, so there will be a lot of examination on how Taiwanese Minnan people and Singaporean Hokkiens look at themselves. What do they call themselves? Taiwanese? Chinese? Taiwanese-Chinese? Taiwanese-Minnan? It’s all very interesting and contemporary to explore, especially since there will be some discussion about Taiwan-China relations etc.

Excited!

Side note:

On my way to school today, there was a man in his late fifties/sixties sitting in front of me. After half an hour on the bus, in the excruciatingly slow morning traffic, he started to talk to himself. He gradually got louder. When some people alighted from the bus, the South Asian man (will refrain from categorizing them as “Indians”) sitting beside him changed seats. The old man started to exclaim profanities and some other things in Hokkien. He started fidgeting around his seat and kept looking back at the other people on the bus. I kept my expression blank and looked straight ahead. He suddenly exclaimed that he was going to pangsai and grabbed his bottom repeatedly and shouted about finding a kopitiam.

My heart pounded wildly and I was on my guard in case he gets violent. He alighted at the same stop as I did and went off.

In the whole process I was caught between fear and a great sadness for the man. It was always sad to meet people who are stretched beyond mental stability. Society gives them many labels and we are almost all afraid of them because they are so unpredictable. For the less empathetic, they stop regarding psychiatric patients as human. For the more empathetic, they are afraid of being around patients for the fear of saying the wrong things that will “set them off”. Many times I would wonder, when I look at psychiatric patients: What happened to them such that they ended up like that? Congenital issues aside, many psychiatric conditions are externally influenced.

See how important we are to each other! We are not just responsible for ourselves, but the people we interact with! The things we say and do to others are all so important in protecting each other from emotional and psychiatric harm.

 

Fight

On my way home from school just now, there was a Malay couple who started fighting on the bus. I first heard the girl’s voice in a long piteous ramble, couldn’t hear much of the guy, then their voices rose to a loud hushed whisper (they would actually be shouting at each other if they weren’t on a bus). I could hear snapping noises, like somebody’s hitting somebody. Of the few times I couldn’t help peeking, the guy was wrestling the girl’s bag/phone from her. He seemed to be demanding from her to hand over something to him. After quite sometime of physical scuffling they went back to their hushed argument, the guy’s body language still hostile and intimidating. I couldn’t see the girl’s face.

I was actually sort of shocked and a little afraid at that moment – didn’t dare to go to sleep even though I was so tired. I was imagining that they might start throwing things and if I fall asleep I won’t be out of the way in time. Eventually I dozed off for a short while after they stopped their physical scuffle. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when they are in private places with only each other – I fear for the girl. The guy looks like he would physically abuse her (if he had no reservations about wrestling her in public, what more in private). Yet their issue sounded more complicated than what I have peeked at.

 

Anger dumping

Anger dumping came up as one of the “layers”, that people put on when interacting with others, which interferes with effective communication.

I am quite familiar with my own anger patterns and I am still learning to work my emotions out and practise what it means to be “slow to anger”. One thing I’ve learned in my years of dumping anger wrongfully on others, is that I must be early to voice out loud what I feel uncomfortable about, instead of accumulating anger until an emotional explosion on the other party (and other innocent bystanders). And to say it in a reasonable way – saying how I interpreted the issue and what I feel uncomfortable about, instead of accusing the other party of whatever I felt they were doing.

Example:

Instead of “You should have asked before you threw that away! Why are you always so careless?”,

say, “I think it’s better if you have asked me before throwing that away. Try not to do that again next time.”

Problem with first sentence – firstly, it’s delivered in a “you should have” (read: commanding tone) and accuses the other party of an “always” (internal response: I don’t ALWAYS do that!) plus an accusatory label “careless”.

Many of us think that by keeping quiet about it the issue will go away. It doesn’t.

Many of us think that respecting the other party means you don’t tell them about what you are unhappy about. Wrong.

Most people are more accepting of being told of their mistakes than we think they are. It’s just how we say it.

Instead of, “Your organization is so inefficient”, you could say, “(Whatever the organization has done to you that went wrong) made me feel uncomfortable/upset/disturbed/unduly-stressed. I would appreciate it if you could (suggest changes).” Plain scolding doesn’t help change anything except breed negative sentiments on both sides.

From all my mistakes, sulks and tantrums…

 

Do you know that…

…it is immensely difficult to talk to someone who has to punctuate his statements with “Do you know…”s and “Do you know what is…”s?

I don’t know what it’s like for you but it’s terribly difficult for me. I have to struggle to stay on his conversation after 5 minutes. I can’t help but feel stupid whenever he began on a “Do you know” and I honestly did not know. =_=

How many people out there enjoy making people feel stupid/appearing superior in wits and intellect? It is extremely obnoxious. There is no gain in proving oneself “superior” or to put others down (however unintended it was).

There are certain people, myself included, who enjoy sharing knowledge. It’s a classified personality trait. But sharing knowledge doesn’t have to lead to making others feel inadequate – this we must learn. Wouldn’t it be more awesome to inspire people?

Above being said, however, I suspect I might have had the “Do you know…” streaks in my conversations. Will watch my mouth in future.

 

People work makes me feel thirty years older

I’m kind of feeling annoyed at how so many don’t seem to take commitments, promises and responsibilities seriously… If you promised to take part in something, even if it’s just an “Um, okay”, people will just take it that you’ve committed. I don’t think people are always able to differentiate between an “Um, okay” (Sigh, why me? But I’ll do it anyway ba) and an “Um, okay” (Sigh, I don’t want to do it but then I don’t want to offend this person).

If you’ve agreed to do something, we assume you are going to do it.

It’s okay to say “No, sorry, I don’t think I’m able to do it.” It is better to reject straight off than to vaguely agree. People happily think they have someone to help only to realize that they have to make a hasty replacement afterwards.

The least you could do to help us is to inform us early (and not on the very day we need you). It’ll be even better if you could get someone to replace yourself.

It has become so recurrent that I’m getting a little mad at how so many people are doing it.

I can be understanding and I’ll probably forget this unhappiness two days after, but as people living with other people I think we need to know this so that we can make each others’ lives easier.

 

当我们最后选择沉默

看报纸、看新闻、看新闻网，以前是种休闲，现在是种折磨。每天被一堆惨无人道的事折磨着，实在令人疲惫。

前几天看了泳总给陶李的回复后，郁闷得很想马上提笔写信到报馆去批评泳总。最后坐在电脑前，我沉默了。泳总事件不是独立事件，正如乒总事件也不是独立事件一样。你真要批评，就是牵一发动全身，和我们的政策、领导人都脱离不了关系。

最后，我沉默了。一是缺乏勇气，二是太疲惫。因为这样的事，太多太多了。要批评的话，该要多少的智慧来说出个所以为然。

刚才又看到一则关于问题奖学金得主的报道，其中指出有奖学金得主心高气傲，只愿意去自己想去的政府部门，没被分配到那里就毁约辞职，还有的居然不知道“Retrenchment Exercise”是什么。我嗤笑一声，继续保持沉默。谁是谁非，孰与评说？

 

Gosh I’m appalled

Dear Ms Ris Low, please, please remove yourself from national media. Why do you have to go on Chinese TV and display how equally dismal your Mandarin is? And the two pieces of paper happened to “fly into” your stationary case after you tore up your revision notes? Tsk.